Communication skill

From Freepedia

Communication skill is the basic trait required in nurturing relationships, building a good business and in every aspect of human interactions.

Limited communication skills are a characteristic aspect of autism.

Communication Skills for Persuasion

There are certain easy-to-learn skills which can greatly enhance the effectiveness of communication, and thus the ability to persuade. To be clear, persuasion here does not carry a negative connotation, but rather refers to any influence you exert for sharing a point of view, from business contract negotiation through to deciding on a restaurant for dinner.

Here are a sample of what is available. Some of these can be found in the area of NLP, but the focus here is on practical and readily usable techniques.

Names: Use a person's name - because people respond to that. Make it sound natural, and don't use it like telesales staff, who use it at the start of just about every sentence.

Double Bind: This is a common technique where instead of giving the listener a choice between 'Yes' and 'No', you give them a choice between 'Yes - option 1' and 'Yes - option 2', and you actively ignore the option of 'No'.

Examples:

• Mr Glazer, let's meet to talk further about this. Is Tuesday good for you, or would Thursday be better? (You don't suggest the possibility of not meeting at all.)
• Mrs Jones, I would like to speak with you about your investments. Is now good, or should I call back later? (You skip the alternative of Mrs Jones not speaking to you about investments.)

Universal Quantifiers:

• (detail to follow)

Adverb Starts: Fortunately, this paragraph begins using an adverb. When the person is listening to you talk (or reading your email), before they hear the fact or opinion that you are sharing, they hear the adverb (in this case, "fortunately") - which already starts to lead their mind into associating "good news" with what you tell them.

Examples:

• Encouragingly, the improvements in product design have opened the potential for profits on this product line.

Silence: Sometimes the best response is to say nothing. You've made your point, and rather than arguing or discussing further, just staying silent can put the other party in the position of wanting to break the silence, and agreeing to your proposal often seems to be the outome.

Presuppositions:

• (detail to follow)

Yes Yes Yes: If you're looking for a 'yes' response from someone, then get them thinking 'yes' before you ask your target question. For example, "Is this your own business?" (They respond yes.) "Are you looking to improve your profitability?" (They respond yes.) "Would the other directors agree that is an important goal?" (They respond yes.) "Would you like to hear how my product can help you?" (They are more likely to respond with a 'yes'.)

You're looking for a pattern of yes's, so two is generally not enough. Note that this method can be done less blatantly. You don't always need a verbal 'yes' - as long as their mindset is that of a 'yes'. Politicians tend to start their speeches saying lots of things you will agree with, so that later you will agree with whatever they say.

Pacing: The idea is along the lines of the above 'yes yes yes' technique, but it's more general. You start off saying things not just that they will agree with, but with things which are consistent with their immediate experience.

Examples:

• To start a conversation with someone at a bus-stop, begin by talking about the bus timetable. This ties up with their current state, and then leading on to anything else is easier.
• The English are famous for always talking about the weather, because it safely matches the person's experience. The skill, however, is leading on to something else.

Agreement: Basically, you say whatever you want to say, but precede it with 'Yes, I agree with you that ...'. For example, if you're trying to get a date with someone who isn't sure they are keen to meet up with you, you could say, 'I agree with you we barely know each other, and that meeting for a coffee is safer than eating out. So let's do that. Do you know the coffee shop near the Zoo?'

This can be badly used - try not to make it look blatant, and thus silly.

Foot in door: As the heading implies, start with something small then get something more. It's easier to get someone to agree to go for a dinner with you if you've already got them to agree to meet you for a coffee. It's easier to get a large donation if you've already got their agreement to make a small donation.

Door in the face: This is the opposite of the above technique, since this time you ask for too much, then scale it down to something more reasonable. Hi-fi salesman do this by showing you the top-of-the-range item - which no doubt you will love - but when you balk at the price, they scale down to a cheaper model which previously would have looked expensive, but now (in comparison) looks really good value!

Power Words: Think very carefully about what certain key words actually mean, and use them very deliberately.

• AND: (Say something they agree with) and (say something you want them to agree with). This leads them them to the desired end-point, from a starting point they are comfortable with.
• BUT: This cancels out whatever you said before. 'You're very hard working BUT there is more that should be done.'
• BECAUSE: This was made famous be a an experiment where they showed you while you can get results from saying 'Please can I push in front of in this photocopy queue?', you get much better results from saying, 'Please can I push in front of in this photocopy queue BECAUSE I need to make a copy.' It's stating the obvious, but it improves your results noticeably.
• NATURALLY: Use this word to make people more comfortable with you suggestion.
• NOW: Use this word for getting action. Sales adverts use this extensively, shouldn't you begin to use it? Now?'

Thought Suggestions:

• Make it sound like their idea, like 'Agreement' above.
• What might be nice is ...
• What if we were to ....

Question Tags: If you finish sentences with, for example, 'Isn't that right?' or 'Do you agree?' you are in effect getting active mental buy-in from the listener. Do you know what I mean?

Weasel Phrases:

• 'If someone were to say to you XYZ, what would that mean to you?' can be a better way of delivering the message of XYZ, especially if it's a negative message. This takes the message to someone else, rather than being from you.

Quotes: It's often easier for people to take advice or recommendations from a third party than from you, so try some of the following:

• I have read that ...
• Someone told me that ...
• Did you see the article in the paper which said ...

Constraints: Examples:

• 'While stocks last', 'until the deadline', 'before the others' - these are examples of where the person perceives a degree of scarcity, which makes the offer appear more appealing.
• If you begin a call with the phrase, 'I cannot talk long ...' then the listener may be more comfortable that you are not about to take up much time, and thus tends to be more open.

Edification: By speaking positively of a colleague or an organisation (in a natural, non-contrived way) you are increasing its rating in the person's mind. Later, any advice or recommendations which follow from the colleague or the organisation are more likely to be taken seriously. This works even if you and your colleague are delivering the same message.

(additional items to follow in this framework)